When CCF Head of Direct Services Ng Hwee Chin was once doing palliative counselling for a terminally ill leukemia patient, she would wear dark colours so that if he bled or vomited, any blood stains would appear less frightening to the child.
But one day the nine-year-old surprised her.
“Hwee Chin jie jie,” he said, “can you not wear black anymore? Everything is very dull, but my life needs colours too.”
After that, she wore brighter colours and interesting accessories, lending some vibrancy to her patient’s world.
It reminded her that every patient is different, and the approach taken by social workers must be tailored to a particular child’s holistic needs.
During monthly supervisory meetings, Hwee Chin reminds CCF’s social workers of this.
“Children who have gone through severe illnesses can be very mature and sensitive. We need to be patient with every child, be present with them, and interpret their needs and gestures,” she says.
In order to do so effectively, social workers must sustain the emotional marathon that comes with a job like theirs.
“I always tell my staff, it is easy to be a good social worker for one year. But ten years later, will you still have the motivation after seeing so much loss and grief? Self-care is very important too,” she says.
Hwee Chin acknowledges that it is not always easy. The hardest thing to cope with is losing multiple patients in a short time frame.
“Before I can address my feelings for a child who has passed on, another child is dying and I need to be present for them,” she says.
Her own form of self-care is going for silent retreats and overseas treks to clear her mind. Meditation has also helped with non-attachment, and letting go of the sense of injustice Hwee Chin feels towards premature deaths.
Sometimes, she even draws inspiration from her patients. “Many of them say, don’t think too much, just live life to the fullest,” she says.